Celeb Shot
Unlock Your Potential
Veteran and Loyalty Point Leadership CEO Patrick Nelson draws from his own challenging life story to offer practical insights on embracing a personal growth mindset and stepping into impactful leadership.
My mother was a teenager when I was born. She was single, unemployed, living on government assistance. No father figure in sight. Growing up, I saw drugs in the house, in the 6th grade I watched as my mom was arrested right in front of my entire school as we were let out for the day, my stepsister committed suicide in rehab, and I ran away from home and took my mom to court because I didn’t want to live there. People did not look at me and think, “wow, that kid is going to do some great things one day.” It was a tough childhood but definitely could have been worse.
I dropped out of a small community college in rural Minnesota two days after 9/11 and joined the Army. I served nearly seven years as a paratrooper with three combat deployments. I was wounded in action in Afghanistan on June 8, 2005. Two soldiers right next to me were killed. One of them died because of my failure to speak up. It sucked and I beat myself up for a long time after that. I was addicted to pain killers for five years.
But guess what? We all face adversity, and it comes in different shapes and sizes. This isn’t the trauma Olympics on who had it worse. This is life and everyone’s experience is unique. But through my experiences (mostly my failures), I have learned practical tools that can also help you overcome your own challenges.
I think many of us have some level of fatigue when it comes to hearing about the constant levels of change that are happening and how we all need to be resilient. We get it. Now let’s do something about it.
I believe we all have this inherent untapped potential in us that is just waiting to come out. Here are 4 practical tips that you can use right now to help you embrace a personal growth mindset and influence others.
1. Embrace New Experiences
When it comes to any type of leadership development, the vast majority of learning and growing is done by doing. Seek out experiences that are going to nudge you outside your comfort zone. What does that look like for you? Ask your boss if you can give a short 30-minute presentation on being a better active listener. Take a leadership role in an employee resource group. Don’t have one? Start one. It can be something in your personal life. Maybe it’s getting off the couch and tackling your first 5k or volunteering with a local service organization.
If we ever run into each other, remind me to tell you story of the Bataan Memorial Death March in 2013. That was my get off the couch moment.
2. Manage Your Emotions
I firmly believe that many people across the world lack an effective way to manage their emotions, leading them to destructive behaviors. One of the best pieces of advice that I ever received to help me do this came from a former colleague of mine, a guy who used to fly F 16’s in the Air Force. One day he asked me “what do you think one of the first things they taught me in fighter pilot training is when an alarm would go off in the cockpit?” I told him I had no idea – probably push a bunch of buttons, call mayday on your radio, and then eject? He said the very first thing they taught him to do is to wind the clock. And they do that because you can’t break anything by winding the clock. And it makes your brain take that brief pause when you’re going Mach 3 at 19,000 feet and an alarm goes off. It helps you override that instinctive fear driven reaction and helps your brain trigger a more thought-out response instead. Just like we remember stop, drop, and roll. I’ve remembered to wind the clock.
3. Take Small Steps
I like to fancy myself as someone that helps motivate people to become a better version of themselves. What I don’t want you to do is to try to do it all at once. You will only set yourself up for failure. Take small steps, measure your progress, recalibrate if needed, and keep moving forward.
What does that look like? Maybe you’ve got a goal to take better care of yourself. You’re not trying to become a body builder or some mediative guru, but you know you need to do something different. I don’t need to tell you what you need to do to take better care of yourself. We all know these things. The key is to not do it all at once. Maybe it’s going to be 20 minutes earlier than usual for the next week. Commit to it and see how you feel. It could be your desire to continue your education. You could sign up for one class at first and try it on for size before potentially diving in to a full course load.
4. Surround Yourself with Growth-Minded People
The people we surround ourselves with influence our mindset. Seek out those who encourage growth and provide constructive feedback. I think it’s safe to say that we all know at least one person who is always complaining – something is always wrong. Woe is me. If you don’t know that person, it might be time for a longer look in the mirror.
To bring more growth-minded people into your circle, take advantage of networking events where personal development is a focus. Many industry conferences host similar events. Look for individuals who share goals of learning and improvement and engage with them by asking about their experiences or perspectives on growth. You can also join online communities, like those on LinkedIn or other personal development forums, where sharing insights and progress is encouraged.
The world is your oyster – be kind, be happy, and help others. Cheers!
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